im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
