yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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