I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
