69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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