He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A bitchslap is in order.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
