im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
