ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
