So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
