My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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