i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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