It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
