I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
