i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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