Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is your mom at the bar?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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