Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize