I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
