you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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