her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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