put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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