Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
