OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize