Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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