Got a toothbrush?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
