hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
