so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
