I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
