Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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