I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
MIDGETS
????
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
