True but thats because hes a fetus.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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