perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
