You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
