So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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