You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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