thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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