The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
