By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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