You're so nebulous sometimes
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
