is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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