and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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