I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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