i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
