after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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