lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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