As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
