Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
