ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your penis caused this!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
