My hand turned me down
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
