I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The air was thick with penises
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize