i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
