Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
