His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
