Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
