I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
