i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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