Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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