Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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