For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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