did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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