anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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