If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
